The revenge of the Black Death
by LiznMorwenna
Summary: Barbossa's daughter is here and ready to kill Jack for killing her dad...yikes! It is really funny!
1. The Jack Problem

Chapter One The Jack Problem  
  
Elizabeth Swann woke up in the middle of the night, sweating. Summer Vacation. The words reveberated through her brain. Enough to make her laugh, cry and vomit, in that particular order. She checked her alarm clock. 3:32. Drat. LATER "Morning, Will," Elizabeth said, drawing the curtains. From the bottom bunk she heard a groan. "Urk. It's too bright," he muttered, extracting his copy of Harry Potter from under his pillow. "Oh, that must be the reason why my pillow was so hard last night," Will said as he chucked the book across the room. "Ow," Elizabeth yelled. "That was my NOSE!!! And get your butt out of bed and go choke down a few stale Poptarts. I gotta shovel away the huge pile of laundry you dumped on the floor." At that moment a girl came into the room. Her name was Morwenna. She was tall, skinny, and had dark hair and a major attitude problem. "I heard shouting," she singsonged. "Liz, if you broke up with him, I'll take him!" With that, something vaguely booklike came flying across the room. "He tried that one on me already," said Liz, smirking. "He gave me a nosebleed." From a corner of the room, the two girls heard a yell. "DID NOT!" "DID TOO!" "DID NOT!" "DID- oh, forget it." Will emerged from the shouting match the victor. "And you actually think you won the argument?" Morwenna said as she headed for the kitchen. It was a disaster. Piles of dirty dishes lay in the sink, which was half filled with gray-brown, scummy water. Wrappers and cans were artfully strewn on the linoleum, and Morwenna decided, that since Jack made the mess... "SPARROW, GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!" she roared, marveling at her own lung power. "Yeah, yeah, okay," Jack said,entering the kitchen. "I'll clean..." Five minutes later, Will, Liz, AnaMaria, and Morwenna sat eating Poptarts and watching Lord of the Rings: The Sitcom, while Jack was scrubbing dishes and complaining loudly. "Takes years to get the scum off," he moaned as he squirted half the bottle of dish soap onto a large casserole dish. "Sparrow, shut up," Liz retorted. "But, I – "Shut up!" Liz slapped him across the face, at which point he fainted from overwork. End of Chapter 1 


	2. The refrigerator breaketh soon

Disclaimers: WE DO NOT OWN POTC (Wahhhhhh.....) All we own is Morwenna, Kate and Robin. Oh yeah, and the Black Death. Only problem: we DON'T WANT to own the Black Death OR its sister ships, the Death Breath , Retainer Breath, and Death Threat.

Another chapter of craziness! Enjoy! Do not choke to death laughing! Do not spend 65 bucks on the Lord of the Rings: Extended and Expensive editions (which has nothing to do with this!!) And do not pretend to be Kate or Jack (or Will or Liz or Morwenna. Especially Morwenna.) and run around with a sword made out of duck tape and cardboard!! (Note: This story is in the modern world. Really.) (Morwenna is Jack's half-sister. same mom, different dad.)

Chapter Two Jack, Morwenna, and the Liquor Cabinet (The Refrigerator Breaketh Soon)

After they dragged Jack to his bedroom and gave up on cleaning, Liz found that the keys to the liquor cabinet were mysteriously missing. Also they heard Jack singing something in his room. " 99 bottles of rum on the wall, uh, 89? bottles of rum-" this was interrupted by something-"ya take one down, ya pass it aroundddd...." THUDDDDDD...Will heard Morwenna say something about the fact that she had to share living quarters with a drunk idiot that needed to check in to a mental hospital...and Will said that Morwenna was the pot calling the kettle black, because Morwenna was drunk too. After that, things started to happen pretty fast. Morwenna, clutching a a can of beer, ran into the kitchen and somehow toppled over the fridge. The sink exploded, little bits of china hitting the ceiling fan and dropping onto the floor. Morwenna dropped her beer in amazement. "Shit." Morwenna said. This was the only way anyone could describe the situation.

So it was that the people who had not passed out went to Tortuga Mall to get a new fridge and to find someone who would install a new sink. This meant that they had to commandeer the mall. " We're going to steal the mall??" asked Will in amazement. Liz overheard this and began to do her little happy dance. "No," said Jack. "COMMANDEER the mall. Nautical term." Morwenna groaned. "Not the first time, either. The last time he did this was when..." She began to explain the story of The Big Mistake Her Idiotic Half-Brother Made. The Commodore overheard the story and rolled his eyes. he was with his old high school friends. "HEY!!" yelled Jack. "It's the walking Mardi Gras float! Join the party dude! What took you so long??"


End file.
